TYPES OF ORGASM AND HOW TO ORGASM MORE OFTEN

The orgasm gap is real: Just 40 percent of woman report having an orgasm during their last hookup, while 80 percent of men say they had a grand finale at the end of their most recent sexcapade. Another study paints an even more dire pleasure picture: It reports a woman has one orgasm for every three a man enjoys. Can we all sigh a collective, well, that sucks?!

I'm sad to report that some of my friends would fit well into these figures. When we talk sex—which we do on the regular, as I consider it part of my job—it's a common complaint that their men don't engage in enough foreplay or last long enough for all orgasms to be equal. One recently said of her husband, "it's as if as long as he gets off, he considers it a job well done." And that thought makes me sad. In my opinion, men we choose to date and marry should care whether sex is as pleasurable for us as it is for them—especially because my friends care greatly if their guys get off.

Of course, we can't exclusively blame men for any orgasm gap that does exist. If we're unhappy with how often we get off, it's our responsibility to engage in conversations and acts that get us there during sex—or even take matters into our own hands during our alone time. While another friend's method could be considered extreme, she guarantees an orgasm every time by asking her guy to go down on her before the real action begins. "That's the easiest way for me to get off," she says, "so we've come to an understanding that I need him to do that for me first. It may seem demanding, but he doesn't mind, and it's what works for us."

5 Types Of Orgasms

Don't get us wrong, we're all for the "If it ain't broke, don't' fix it" mentality when it comes to a family recipe or your tried-and-true makeup routine. But having the same orgasm every time can be repetitive.

Here, 5 different types of happy endings—and how to experience each of them more frequently:
 

1. The Clitoral Orgasm

What it is: If the clitoral orgasm were an ice cream, it'd be vanilla—not because it's bland, but because it's the standard. These orgasms result from direct stimulation of the clitoris, and are described as "localized, sharp, bursting, and short-lasting," according to a study published in the journal NeuroQuantology.

How to get more: Go solo at first, suggests Janet Wolfe, a New York City–based sex therapist. Masturbation allows you to figure out what works best for you, and you'll know better how to direct your partner, Wolfe says. You'll also feel more comfortable helping yourself achieve orgasm during sex.

2. The Vaginal Orgasm

What it is: Also known as the controversial "G-spot" orgasm, these don't happen for all women. According to that same NeuroQuantology study, vaginal orgasms are achieved more through intercourse than clitoral stimulation, and are described as “whole body” and longer-lasting than clitoral orgasms. Women who report having vaginal orgasms may also be more likely to experience multiple orgasms.

How to get more: Just because you’ve never had a vaginal orgasm doesn’t mean you can’t. Researchers say the G-spot may be located on the front wall of the vagina. So the next time you’re getting it on, have your guy target that spot by entering you from behind. But don’t be scared to change things up once you’re in the groove. According to a study from the Journal of Sexual Medicine, the longer sex lasts, the more likely you are to experience the big O. Changing positions can help your partner last longer. 

3. The Blended Orgasm

What it is: A blended orgasm happens when both a clitoral and vaginal orgasm occur simultaneously. These twin orgasms have been known to last anywhere from 1 to 15 minutes, ending in a "giant" orgasm (yes, the medical literature actually uses the word "giant," so you know it's got to be good). (If menopause has taken the fun out of your sex life, The Natural Menopause Solution can help you get it back.)

How to get more: You need to put in double the effort if you want double the reward. “Some women find that the best position for orgasm is missionary because their clitoris is also being rubbed through penetration,” says Jane Greer, PhD, a New York–based marriage and sex therapist. But woman-on-top can also be beneficial, since it gives you a little more control over which of your spots are receiving the most attention.

4. The Coregasm

What it is: An orgasm triggered by exercise. (Seriously.) But this isn’t necessarily one of those toe-curling O’s, according to Debby Herbenick, PhD, a sex researcher and author of the new book, The Coregasm Workout. Women who have experienced these orgasms describe them as “less intense,” but still pleasurable. (Hey, if it gets you to the gym more frequently, go for it.)

How to get more: You’re going to need to get your heart rate up for an orgasm described as “exercise-induced.” After you’ve gotten some good cardio in, it’s time to get to work on your core, Herbenick suggests. She says exercises like hanging leg raises are the most beneficial for an exercise O, since they work the lower abs. (Coregasms seem to start in your ab muscles before moving down to your lady parts.) But just one set of crunches isn’t going to cut it; you want to work your muscles to the point of fatigue, and then keep going once you start feeling some excitement, Herbenick says. 

5. The Skin Orgasm

What it is: All you need are some tunes. You may have already experienced a skin orgasm while listening to a favorite song or other powerful piece of music. You probably just brushed it off as “chills” or “goose bumps.” The real name for these feelings? “Frissons,” which are “a musically induced effect associated with a pleasant tingling feeling,” according to a study published in the journal Frontiers in Psychology. Researchers believe the sensation is brought about by unexpected changes in the music, like sudden key changes or quick jumps from soft to loud—anything that forces the mind to abruptly switch gears.

How to get more: The only music linked with this phenomenon—at least thus far—is classical, where crescendos and chord changes abound. But the study authors say people are much more likely to have physical reactions to music that’s familiar to them. Our personal pick: Sara Bareilles’s hit “Gravity.” The moment her voice breaks away from the background music around 2:50 is truly skin-tillating.

SO, HOW IF THOSE TRICKS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?

CHECK BELOW >>>

HOW TO HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS: A GUIDE

1. FIND WHAT WORKS

Don’t expect someone else to know what pleases you if you don’t know yourself. "Masturbate," says Dr Mintz. "If you don’t know where to start, check out OMGYes (omgyes.com) – watching videos of other women doing it can be really instructive."

2. SAY WHAT YOU NEED

"Talk outside the bedroom, so you both feel less vulnerable," Dr Mintz advises. "How to have multiple orgasms can be as simple as taking ownership of your pleasure by saying, 'I really love it when you do this,' or, 'I’d love it if we could do this,' rather than using blaming statements." Just don’t debrief immediately after the act, obvs.

3. SHOW AND TELL

"If you want them to do something differently, gently move their hand or head," says Campbell. "And let them know when they’re doing it right to encourage them to keep going." Not working? "Show them what they need to do to make you orgasm with your hands or a vibrator," suggests Dr Mintz.

4. LET GO

Wondering how to have multiple orgasms but too conscious of your splayed thighs or sex face to let go enough to climax? "You really don’t have to worry," says Campbell. "Your partner won’t be turned on by your vulnerability or any facial expressions. If anything, they’ll be turned on – it’s rewarding to know your partner’s climaxing."

5. CHECK YOURSELF

"Many women grow up worried they’ve had too few or too many partners and thus aren’t able to enjoy sex enough to reach orgasm," says Dr Mintz. Relate? "Let the negative shameful thoughts out, write them down and challenge them," she says. While listening to Rihanna, ideally.