How To Prepare For Your Spontaneous Hookup (5-Step Hookup Prep)

A modern, free-spirited woman allows fate to lead her to love. Just like in the movie Serendipity, you can’t control serendipity! But you know in the next week or so, you’ll be going to a birthday party where you won’t have to wake up early the next day and that won’t be during your period.

Getting a woman home can be damn hard work. It takes the right moves, the proper circumstances, and often a fat dose of luck. Because the pickup game is a struggle, when the stars do align… you need to be ready to perform. Sure, everyone wants to last an hour and make her cum 10 times. In reality, though, unless you really know your shit, no guy will blow her mind based solely on the first sexual encounter. 

What you CAN do to make the experience better is be prepared. And lucky for you, preparation requires less effort than hitting all her G-spots: 

Hookup Prep Step #1: Condoms on the Nightstand

Rubbers are a mainstay of the casual hookup. More than likely, any woman you bring home will (and should) expect you to wear one. Yes, condoms do a lot of good… but that doesn’t mean they aren’t a pain in the ass. If you don’t know exactly where you left the little guys, you can lose time and even worse, hardness as you fumble around looking for them. If you place an inconspicuous bowl of rubbers next to your bed before you leave home, you’ll save yourself from limp dick embarrassment later on. 

Hookup Prep Step #2: Extra Pillows on the Bed

This is a simple common courtesy. She shouldn’t have to cram into your headspace and breathe your recycled air all night just to get a little lift under her head. But did you know your pillow can double as an exciting, makeshift sex wedge…? Check it out: 

Invert the old missionary classic

Hookup Prep Step #3: Pre-selected Entertainment

You’re about to get laid. We get it: the last thing on your mind is entertainment. Still, if you plan to get lucky multiple times throughout the night, you’ll need something to keep her awake as you recharge. Keep a tablet or laptop near your bed to fill any gaps between sex with some nice cuddling and movie watching. 

Pro tip: Pick ‘sensual’ movies to help get her in the mood for round two. Classics like Basic Instinct (the sex in that movie… just wow), all the way to newer, limited-release films like Shame (dedicated ENTIRELY to sex) are perfect. By the way… the Netflix code for Indie Romantic Movies is 9916. You’re welcome. 

Hookup Prep Step #4: Necktie on the Headboard

Speaking of Basic Instinct, the necktie is the perfect tool to take your sex up a notch. It can serve a variety of kinky purposes: 

• Blindfold: tie it around her head, or have her tie it around yours. Either way, win-win.

• Handcuffs: if she’s down for the whole bondage thing, a necktie can be used to bind hands, feet, etc.

• Rope: proceed with caution, but for those into the whole asphyxiation thing… you get where I’m going with this.

More importantly, though, the presence of the humble necktie is totally unpresumptuous. If a girl isn’t ready to get kinky, the sight of handcuffs or rope may make scare the living crap out of her. But a tie? Not scary at all. And for any girl who IS into it, the tie tells her “I’m prepared to get kinky if you suggest it…” 

Hookup Prep Step #5: Tidy Up, EVERYTHING

Most guys have the good sense to clean up the bedroom when they believe sex is on the horizon. If the rest of your apartment’s a dump, however, a spotless bedroom hardly matters. Though it seems intuitive, lots of dudes forget to straighten up every area that she might get a look at. If you want to turn the hook-up into a regular thing, it’s in your best interest not to come off as a total slob. Spend the extra 20-30 minutes giving your place a quick clean up. Trust me, she WILL notice. 

Pro tip: Focus on the bathroom. A shit-streaked toilet bowl, soap covered in stubble, or mirror covered in grime will turn her off fast. 

Preparation is your secret weapon to a sex experience she’ll enjoy. Above all else, it makes a girl feel more comfortable in your place -- she’ll feel more at home. And unless you’re some sex god who’s mastered the many female spots, it’s in your best interest to make MORE than just her physical experience memorable.