How to Get Him to Ask You Out: Make Him Think It’s His Idea (5 Fun Ways)

Let’s say you started chatting with a cute guy you just met. You’re totally vibing and hitting it off and then … he walks away. Um, what?! There’s nothing more annoying than thinking you’ve got a real connection with someone, only to realize that he might not be that into you after all. That said, there are a few tactics you can use to keep him interested during those critical first few minutes, which increases your odds of scoring a date. Below, 10 foolproof ways that outline how to get a guy to ask you out—from an actual guy!

Making the first move seems pretty daunting, especially as a woman. That is why it is more subtle and less nerve racking to learn how to get him to ask you out instead.

But how do you find the happy medium between flirting and desperation? And how can you make it clear that you are available without being over the top? Finding a balance when it comes to getting him to ask you out is not always easy. However, it can be easier with a little guidance.

So in this article, I’ll show you 5 super-practical, easy ways to ask him out and still be a high value woman in his eyes:

1. Send him a pic with the message, “This looks awesome! I’m gonna check it out on Saturday. You in??

This is a great way to ask him out, because subconsciously you are telling him, “I want to go and see this anyway, but it would be fun if you joined me”.

It’s also useful because it gets him wondering, “Does she like me? Or does she just see me as a friend?” (That’s a good thing).

If he says yes to coming along, it means he wants to get to know you better and spend time alone with you, which is definitely a good sign!

It doesn’t mean of course that he definitely likes you romantically, as he may currently only see you as a friend.

So watch for his behavior on the date: him touching your hand, being protective of you, looking into your eyes – these are all signs he sees it as a real date. 

2. Bring him in with your group

If you’re really scratching your head about how to ask him out, make it super-easy by just inviting him to a group event.

Now of course, ideally this could be a mutual crowd of friends where he knows some people too, otherwise it’ll get pretty intimidating for him to hang out with tons of people he’s never met!

In fact, this is an ideal way to ask out a guy from work and keep it really low pressure.

All you do is say to him, “We’re all going to go to that new wine bar that opened in town on Tuesday. You should come join us.”

If you feel the sparks fly between you on this date, you’ve then made it easy to take things further and put the ball in his court to offer another meeting.

3. Suggest something you know he already likes

You’re both really into eating Sunday brunch and you found a great new spot? You both share a love of obscure superhero comics? You had a long conversation about your passion for wine tasting?

Text him with a link to an event or a cool place related to your shared interest and say, “I know you’d be up for this. Fancy checking it out?”

The beauty of this is that you are making the focus about going to see the place, instead of point blank asking him: DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?

Just make sure it’s something low-pressure, not something that requires expensive tickets and a huge day out. The easier it is, the better your chance to simply test the waters and see how it goes. Of course, if he’s up for spending the whole day with you that’s no bad thing either!

4. Go to learn something together

 It’s always great to do a “date” that involves focusing on something that stimulates your intellect and curiosity.

Maybe there’s a speaker or a debate going on somewhere local that you can drop in on. Just ask him in person or by text, “I’m thinking of going to this at the weekend. Looks interesting. Want me to get you a ticket?”

[Pro tip: Make sure he’s into whatever you choose first! For example, don’t bother taking him to an art exhibition or a poetry reading if you think he’ll have zero interest in it.]

If you both have a good time, it’s the perfect opportunity to go for a walk and have a drink somewhere after to get to know one another more.

5. Do the bold move and just ASK!

Ok, I said at the beginning of this piece that you generally want to use subtle ways to ask him out, but guess what?

Not every rule applies 100% of the time.

I once had a woman in the first conversation (after having approached me) casually say: “We should go for a drink this week.” It was bold, it was refreshing, and I was completely relieved when she said it.

But here’s the thing: You should only do this direct approach if you are going to do it with confidence and be relaxed.

If you’re in a high-pressure environment where you risk humiliation in front of others, or if it’s going to create tons of social awkwardness later when you see him in the elevator at work, then stick to one of the more low-key methods mentioned above.

Just remember though: the direct approach is always in your back pocket, and men love it when a woman occasionally takes the reigns in moving things forward (especially shy guys). So don’t be afraid to use it if you have to!